Irrespective of whether it is a mild push or a violent beating, domestic violence (aka family violence) is particularly disruptive to the constructive development of each family member. The accused is typically arrested and jailed, the victim’s esteem is negatively affected, and every family member that witnesses or hears the assault is placed in the precarious position of choosing sides. Much of the domestic violence that occurs can be avoided by avoiding the behavior or arguments that lead to domestic violence. The top five fights that lead to domestic violence typically center around:
(5) Drinking (alcohol) or drug use
(4) Cheating or womanizing
(3) Time
(2) Money
(1) Poor communication
Substance abuse, primarily alcohol consumption, dominates many fights that lead to domestic violence. Unfortunately, most sober spouses choose to confront the drinking spouse while the drinking spouse is under the influence of alcohol or drugs, which is the worse time to argue about the substance abuse. If there is going to be any confrontation, the sober spouse should try and press the issue when neither spouse is under the influence of alcohol. The typical scenario goes like this:
Husband arrives home extremely late and extremely drunk. Of course he cannot carry on an intelligent conversation, but the wife, who has had a challenging day herself, is fed up with the drinking, broken promises that come with drinking and irresponsibility. So, she confronts the drunk husband and fight ensues, replete with shoving, punching and furniture being overturned.
As the sober spouse, if you choose a sober moment for the confrontation, you can often avoid the 911 calls, bail bond expenses, and domestic violence attorney expenses.
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